invective

I was angry with someone recently, not annoyed, but angry at the way they have behaved.  This isn’t a person I have ever particularly liked, but I didn’t dislike them either.  But now they have capped off already questionable behaviour with some low level hostility that has stuck in my craw and I had been internalising all of this into a stupid bat of paranoia with which I had been beating myself up and as a result, work came to a bit of a halt.

Well not entirely as I started mulling over a project and slowly working on the constituent parts, kind of like taking up a run before I launch myself at the pieces but I have been looking for a suitable subject to start with and the only human that I really want to use it the person who has pissed me off.   The work I started to think about became quite complex, operatic even, gold leaf and the like, complicated and intricate.  It started to get out of hand and my demands on the piece increased until I realised I was spending even more time thinking about this idiot than I had done when I was just angry and I ended up just printing out a portrait of that person I had taken before all this blew up, and I scrawled c**t across the forehead with a sharpie and pinned it to the wall of my studio.

Feels good.